Bouton de train

We should all get a hobby. Having a hobby introduces you to others who have the same passions, exposes you to new ideas, and helps you to learn from experts. It’s also a great avenue of socializing.

My hobby is French. It’s not necessarily an activity, but it is a passion. I love all things francophone. Food. Music. Culture. History. All of it intrigues me. There’s a lot to be learned from studying francophonie – European history, gastronomy, great artists and musicians.

Every weekend I meet up with fellow Francophiles and Francophones to speak French over a cup of Joe. It’s the only place where I feel really comfortable in a group. Normally, I’m a one on one kind of person. But having that commonality with others greases the wheels.

In an exercise during the “How to talk to strangers” seminar, people were asked to find three things in common with two other people. It felt forced. When applied in a real scenario, it’s even more awkward. What kind of questions do you ask someone you’ve never met before now? There really isn’t an inherent commonality between strangers at a cocktail party. What do you talk about?

I have no clue. But last night, chatting in French with others, I felt confident. I had a whole arsenal of conversation topics taken from reading newspapers, journals, essays, experiences. Everyone there had been to France. Everyone there knew something about French culture, politics, history, food and music. Pick something and you’re golden.

The one French person at our post-coffee dinner complimented me in saying that I was the “bouton de train”, that is to say, the person who keeps the conversation going, the one who jokes around, laughs, and creates a great environment.

That’s the kind of person I am. How do I translate that elsewhere?